Rain

This blog might jump around a little bit, but just stay with me. So often we get stressed out with life. Everyone goes through it, and it is something that everyone deals with in his or her own way. Some of us get stressed more than others. I am not going to try to tell you how to deal with stress or how to deal with different problems going on in your life, but I do know that all we can do is take a deep breath, hand it over to God, and try our best to fix it with his help.
But what happens if our stress is caused by a lack of something or because something you have been praying for does not come to pass? I think so often we think we know what is best for us when in reality only God knows what is best for us.
How often do we take time to spend with God? How often do we take for granted all of His gifts and blessings in our lives?
Ever since I can remember, I have hated rain. It always meant we couldn’t go outside or we couldn’t go do things that we had planned to do. I never thought of it as an opportunity. One night recently, I remember that Tim and Fawn were running around outside puddle jumping in the rain together and having a really good time. Later that night, after they had gone in, I decided to move my car and went outside rushing to get to the car before the downpour fell on me. I got my car under the overhang of the church and then got out and started listening to music, all under the overhang. Then I got an idea.
I took off running in the rain. Jumping in puddles and just standing in the rain. I knew at that point that I wasn’t just doing this to be crazy, and I definitely wasn’t alone. I looked up and started thanking God. This is one of the most intimate moments that I have ever had with God. It was amazing to see what God can do with something as little as water drops.
The rain was so refreshing to me. You see, at the time I was stressed out about school and relationships and work and all kinds of things. I had begun to selfishly think that God was becoming more and more distant. I then realized that God knows exactly what I need and truly does have a plan for my life and is going to see that through.
So now every time it rains I think twice before complaining about it. I will always remember that night and try to remember how much God loves me and that he is going to take care of every need and every desire of my heart.

“When the waves come crashing round me still I know with all my heart…..He’s got the whole world in his hands!” –Tim Hughes

too big? too small?

Hey, guys. I feel like I am supposed to tell you about something I have touched on here recently. So often people get a set notion on what they think God is. They think all kinds of things, and most of the time they are wrong. I think if everyone had the right idea about God, this world would be very different. If people knew who God really was, it would take all of the mystery and intimacy out of the relationship. People don’t see it as a relationship at all. I know I didn’t. I had no idea who God really was or is for that matter. I still don’t know, but I am glad. I am going to borrow a phrase from a good friend of mine and say that I don’t want to be able to explain my relationship with God or explain how he has changed me because if I could it would take away from the mystery. I love not knowing what is going to happen next. He is building and shaping me into the man that he wants me to be, and I am just along for the ride.

People think God is too big or too small for their problems. They say God can’t get them that promotion at work because it isn’t a big enough need to Him. They say that God can’t cure me of cancer because cancer is just too big for God. Well I am telling you that He is not. God is infinite. His love is bigger than anything we can ever imagine. He wants the best for you. He wants you to be able to trust Him with anything. He wants you to lay everything at his feet. No matter how big or small you may think it is. God is truly a father who wants to have an encounter with you. So often we say that we want to have a special moment and learn more about God, but even though he already knows it I think that God wants to get to know this person that he is in love with. For those of you dealing with depression, He wants to know what it is that stresses you out and he wants to take those problems away. He wants to help because He loves you. He doesn’t ask for anything in return. You don’t have to do anything to earn His love because He offers it to you for free. I can’t fathom that. I cant wrap my head around the fact that a person who created the heavens and the stars, the sun and the moon, the beauty of the forest or the smell right after a rain can still find time to love me. I don’t understand and I never will. That is why it is so amazing. I thank everyone who reads this and I want you to know that not only do I hope it is a blessing to you, but that it is also a blessing to me to get these thoughts out.

God I thank you. I thank you for every heart after yours. I thank you for every person that reads this. I hope that it touches at least one person. I pray that you continue to use me however you want. Bless those that read this and those that don’t.

“Nothing is impossible for you, nothing is impossible. Nothing is impossible for you, you hold my world in you hands!”

I pray that you realize that no matter what you do, no matter how big or small you situation is, God always holds you in his hands.

bonfire

About a year or two ago, Kris was speaking in youth on a Wednesday just like usual but instead of in the youth room, we were in field for a bonfire. He talked about some of the things in his past that he has had to give up in his life in order to get closer to God. I had really not ever thought about the fact that if we want to have a real relationship with God, then we have to make an effort to change some things about our lives. Weather that is changing relationships, things we do, or just things we put before him. I have heard countless times that we need to turn our lives over to him, but I never knew that by doing that we would get so much in return.

Kris began writing things down on a piece of paper. Things about his life that he had prioritized above God. He then would take those things and throw them into the fire. Weather that is an addiction, or bad relationship, it is different for all of us. If we lay EVERY part of our lives down at Gods feet, we will truly be changed for the better.

I grew up thinking that going to church was just something that "good" people did. I didn't go for any other reason than to hang out with my friends and show that I was a good person. It wasn't until the summer after my senior year that I realized what a relationship with God really was. I didn't understand that he really loved me and that he really did want every part of me.

I sat there just like every other person, watching Kris throw paper into the fire. Thinking about what I had in my life that I placed before God. I was wondering what God could burn away in my life. I started thinking about how God could change me and what he could do in my world. So that became my prayer. That He would burn away anything in my life that was not helping me grow in him. I prayed that he would not only take control of all the things that I could present to him, but that he would also take the things I couldn't. Not only the "good" things but also the bad and that he would take them and make them into good things. That he would take every scar I had in my life and every situation that hurt me and turn them into beautiful pieces of artwork that would speak to other people.

So I ask you. Is there anything holding you back from Him. Anything that you feel could be hurting you right now. Because if you can give them to God, he will use it in ways that you would never thought possible. He will use them as stories that have the potential to shake the world. If you want to make a difference in the world, there is no better way than turning everything over to God and using the gifts and talents that he has stored in you.

"Only you can mend the broken heart and cause the blind to see. Erase complete the sinners past and set the captives free. Only you can take the widows cry and cause her heart to sing. Be a father to the fatherless our savior and our king"

insperation

On Wednesday, something incredible happened. Before we went on stage for worship, Tim talked to the band. I hope I never forget what he said and I hope I think about it every time I go on stage. He told me he was watching a DVD of Jon Egan. Jon said that when he is worshiping he wants to out worship every kid in the room. He wants to lead by example. Jon goes after everything with abandon. That was our prayer that night before going on stage that night. That if we go after God and truly seek an encounter with him right there then others will see and follow.

That is exactly what happened. Teens all over the room were pressing in and seeing how much God loves them. They where having an experience with him. They saw what can happen when you press in and go after God with all your heart. I hope and pray that God makes himself real to them each and every day and that those kids know that what ever they are going through or what ever they do God loves them more than they can begin to imagine.

It really showed me how much can happen when God moves. It showed me what can happen when people can truly seek his face. What can happen when people can put God first and put every distraction and situation behind them. It showed me how passionate of a generation we have coming up out of jr. high and high school. It showed me how much these guys want to see something real. A lot of these kids have never felt a true true love in their life and they felt it on Wednesday. I pray that they live this out in their lives and that they show others what is capable as long as people are passionate about God.

This night was one of the most incouraging nights of my life and I know I will never forget it.

"There is nothing like, there is nothing like your love, your love"

new love

I want this blog to be to anyone out there who is in any sort of pain or hurting. If your out there and you just happen to stumble onto this, then I want you to take the time to read this. Even if it is just this one blog. I am not going to sit here and pretend to know what your going through. The truth is I don't. There is no way for me to understand. I may have gone through a similar situation and I do care and love every single person reading this. But there is only one person who knows what your going through.
The bottom line is this, if your hurting, if your struggling with depression, cutting, with anything, what ever it is there is someone out there who cares. There is someone out there who loves you. And I don't mean this I'll love you till you do what I want you to kind of love. Its not this kind of love that says that as long as you don't mess up I will love you. Its not even a love that can be given and says that I will love you forever and one month later disowns you. Its a love that will pick you up. Its a love that will hold on until you understand that there is nothing you can do that can take it away from you. Its a love that forgives, and is patient. Its a love that never gives up on you. Its a love that wants you to be with them forever. Its a love that never leaves you. Its a love that doesn't want anything in return. Its a love that you can fall into. Its a love that is there anytime you need to cry, for good or bad reasons.
I wish I could say that this love is from me or from my mom. Its not. Its not from a spouse, from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Its not a love that any person can give. Its a love that only one person can give. This person will do anything for you and has done the ultimate thing for you. He died for you. He gave his life so that you may live. He saved your life by giving his. He is the father, the healer, the savior, the lover.
"Thank you God, ..... thank you Dad for your love. Thanks for your mercy, your grace, and your compassion. Thanks for loving me so much that you picked me up when depression hit me. When I was thinking about ending everything you brought me out of it. Thanks for letting me talk to you about anything. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to help others. Whoever needs it. Thank you for being my father when I thought I didn't have one. Thank you!!!"
There is someone who can help, who can cause the pain to go away. They can take your scars and make them into beautiful artworks. They can take the wounds and heal them. I pray that if you need to read this you do and don't let them just be words on a page. Let them resonate in your hearts, they have come from mine.

blessing in disguise

The other day I had the chance to talk to this guy from Cambodia. He is an exchange student to Meramec Community College. We were told to come up with three questions to ask this person about leadership in their country. We didn't even know where they were from at the time. We were only told they were from Southeast Asia.

When we were first given the assignment, I will admit I was a little skeptical. I didn't want to do it at all to be completely honest. I just jotted down a few questions a half an hour before class started. I didn't put any thought into it and didn't really care at all. So we finally met these people and they actually drew names out of a hat and had to find us. The name of the guy that I "interviewed" was Reita, at least I think that's how you spell it. So first off, I talked to him about leaders in his country. After I got that out of the way I realized that we had only been talking for about 3 minuets. So I just started asking him questions that I pulled right out of the air.

I began to notice that I was actually enjoying this. I thought this guy was really interesting. He told me about how he lived in this small village in Cambodia and how he had a church in the village. He talked about how white people in Cambodia helped him very much and how he got saved. He was telling me about how his friends got saved. He was telling me about how his dream was to "fix" the government. He said that there was alot of corrupt things going on within the education and government of his country. He seemed very passionate about his goals.

It was such a blessing to be able to sit down and talk to someone different than myself. I pray that his dreams become a reality. I will never forget my conversation with this guy and hope to see him again in the future.

Waiting

So I have come to a realization. I have noticed that the desires of your heart are given to you when you are ready or even when you are not thinking about it. I think that right now in my life so many doors are opening for me. I have the most amazing friends who are investing into my life every day. They may not know it but they really are. One of my best friends has given me a guitar and is going to start teaching me how to play the bass. For what I want to do with my life this is huge to me and I know that I take him and all of my other friends and family for granted. I know that they love me and I know that they would do anything for me. I have a mentor who invests in my life every time I am around him and is bringing me to a new level of serving God. My mother has been and still is the most influential person in my life. I know that she loves me and I know that she wants what is best for me. She has always given me everything I have ever needed and wanted and I love her with all my heart. I say this because I have finally realized that all the things that I want, God has given me. I have awesome friends and a loving family. God is opening doors for me as far as a career goes and I just want to praise him. Because even when I fail and mess up and feel like everything around me is going to crumble he finds a way to bring such goodness of it and shows me how much he loves me. I just wanted to share that with whoever is reading.